Fish

Friday, April 1, 2011

Bigfoot in Michigan


So, this posting is about a text I received from my mother warning me that she had watched a program on PBS talking about the "bigfoot" sightings in Michigan. A little stunned I started looking on the internet to see what I could find and realized that back when I was a child I totally believed in Bigfoot thanks to Lenard Nemoy and a show called "in search of...." I loved how spooky this show was - we watched it as a family every Sunday evening just after "Project U.F.O."

I have also been thinking about some of the distracting myth and fairy tail research I have been mucking around with and the half human, part wild creature that I like so much - the deer woman, the wolf/dog man and now bigfoot.

What I think I like about the Michigan Bigfoot is that we - meaning he and I - like Buffalo Wild Wings. I like the hot and medium traditional sauces - I'm thinking he would favor one of the asian style sauces. Maybe the Central Michigan bigfoot research team should conduct an experiment the next time they film for PBS. My mother texted that the research team on the show was from Central Michigan University - mind you this is here say so I can not be certain her facts are spot on but who really cares. It's pretty fun.

This isn't an April fools prank - although I wish I had thought of it - I am only relaying information based on a true text - but I'm just not this good. I have said it before "I can't make this shit up!"







via: Glossynews.com - Posted on December 08, 2009 -

Mt. Clemens, MI With the cold weather approaching, there have been quite a few Bigfoot sightings in the Mt. Clemens area, the most recent occurring last Sunday behind the local Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar out on 15 Mile Road in Clinton Township. Officer Stan Down was called to the scene by BWW employee, Lou Klively, who was visibly shaken by what he saw.

“Yeah, I was goin’ out there to throw out the trash like I always do, and about this time I seen this big hairy thing not more’n 10 feet from me take off into the woods right over there,” he said pointing to a thicket of bushes and trees that line a creek area just west of the strip mall.

While it was hard for Klively to give a complete description of the person or thing that he saw, he is almost 100% positive it was one sort of Bigfoot or another. Said Klively, “now I know it weren’t no Yeti cause they live up in the mountains or something, and I can’t say for sure if it was a Sasquatch or a Skunk Ape, cause although it did smell a bit out here, that coulda been the rancid butter sauce I threw out earlier. So I’m gonna go with saying I’m 99% sure it was just your average run-of-the-mill Bigfoot.”

Officer Down, during his investigation, found what he first thought might be human finger bones, cracked at the knuckles, but upon closer examination, he determined they were, in fact, chicken bones. Bigfoot creatures are known to like marrow and, during the colder months especially, it is an essential part of their diet. However, over on the other side of the dumpster there appeared to be half of a larger than human footprint in a puddle of bleu cheese dressing, obviously spilled by the creature when he was startled by Klively. “Yeah, he was out here having himself a meal alright,” said Officer Down. “The only thing missing was the crudité platter.”

Willow Creek, CA Bigfoot expert, Homer Dickson III, son of Dick Dickson, one of the most famous Bigfoot hunters in the country, is flying out next week to investigate the sighting and see if he can locate any more information about this particular band of Bigfeet that seem to be living very close to the BWW. According to Dickson, sightings of Bigfoot creatures are up all over the country.

“When times are lean for America, that means, they are lean for all creatures. With fewer Americans having the time or the money to camp out in the woods, these creatures are being forced to forage for food where they would not normally do so, i.e. in dumpsters behind strip malls. There have been a rash of sightings over in Kings Mill out behind the Walmart over there and we’re gonna investigate those sightings as well while we’re in Michigan,” he said.

The mayor of Mt. Clemens, Barb D. Empsey, welcomes the Dicksons with open arms. “Folks around here have been on edge, claiming they’re seeing things and wondering if they’ll be next to run into one of these Bigfeet creatures. Although, we can’t be sure they exist, it can’t hurt to have these guys come out here with their chrome magnonmeters and their electronosphincters to test the area for possible infestation. Until they give the all clear, I’m urging all Mt. Clemens citizens to stay in their homes and only go out at night if absolutely necessary.”

Links about bigfoot
http://www.gcbro.com/midb1.htm

http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/200912080556/michigan-bigfoot-sightings-on-the-rise/

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